Dear Diary,

I don’t know WHAT is wrong with Ted. He keeps insisting that we flew to Utopia in a JETPLANE. For god’s sakes. We are Squad Overhead we don’t fly in no yubbly jet!!! We haven’t started on the whole planting the bombs thing yet, that sissy of a lump o’ lard, (i.e. Nicholas Alexavier) Chiplotas, says that its too wet for us to go out and plant bombs unless we fancy being able to have a fish farm in out wellies.

We met with Team Shadows and there is an AWFUL captain. Simply AWFUL!! His name is Grogans Derowen. He’s an albino and he looks AWFULLY freaky. Not like all the other cool albinos. His skin is practically chalk for all I know, its so delicate and pale that it looks like Anna’s expensive powder from Paris that we blew up a week ago. His eyes aren’t even properly the albino red, they’re just sorta pinky but still creepy. AND, he has BUCKTEETH. That is just awful karma. He and Chiplotas are on full agreement with each other and none of them are willing to send even ONE person out to plant the bombs.

Meanwhile, Teddy and I have been working on some AWESOME bombs. We drew up a few plans and since we brought tonnes of bombing materials, we are working on them now. I’m trying to connect a heating coil to the battery/timer. Once, the timer goes off, a HUGE spark of electricity will go through the heating coil which is wound around a metal canister. Once the metal canister gets heated, (in only 1.544 milliseconds), the concotion inside will be put to work. I put inside a bar of soap, plenty of highly-flammable oil, a nice little cocktail and a smaller canister of teargas. The cocktail is quite simple, enough vodka to run a bar for a week, (ALL compacted, of course), and a few nice little touches for that extra “boom”. The heated soap will react with the oil and the cocktail causing the compacted can to burst open sending steaming (as in really really STEAMING) compacted air shooting through at about 156777 km/h which will (of COURSE) break open the tear gas canister and spreading tear gas in the adjusted radius. A real beauty, isn’t it? 

And then I whipped up about 20 Exploding Cubes. All you need is a Oyrex bowl, potassium chloride, a hydrometer and bleach, Take the bleach and pour it into the Pyrex bowl and heat it. Add the potassium chloride to the bleach and boil it till the hydrometer reads 1.3. Wait for it to cool till it is room temperature before you retrieve all the crystals that have formed. Next, mix all those crystals (about 56 grams depending on how many) with distilled water. Boil it and cool it again. Ground the crystals firmly into powder and heat it till it dries. Melt 5 parts Vaseline with 5 parts wax. Disolve in petrol or gasoline, (whatever), Pour the liquid onto the crystals and knead it and allow the gasoline to evaporate. Mold it into a cube and dip it in wax to make it waterproof. We first got this Recipe from Jodi Picoult, (bless her) from her book , My Sister’s Keeper. And it turned out surprisingly well. But do NOT try this at home or you will probably face severe consequences from whoever is the “Anna” in your home. 

We are eating our meagre rations right now. Think pureed potatoes mash and sausages, chicken soup, two biscuits, a bagel and pizza wraps, (thanks to Pizza). Not nearly enough for ADHD kids plus those with high metabolism rates. In fact, that’s only about five hundred calories and we need four times that. Pizza is making more pizza wraps but I suspect Ted and I will probably go hungry.

Anyways, we explored the sewers a little more and we figured out an escape route. Even if we are surrounded, we can still use it. I blasted through the wall telekinetically and made a hole just big enough to crawl into. I blasted through until we reached this little tunnel. Just run through the tunnel and down the tiny waterfall of sewage with rivets of murky water. If you hang on to a pipe, you can make your way down safely. Keep walking till your reach a dead end and climb the ladder at the end up through the manhole cover. Brilliant, non? Right now, Hazel set up a little mini project that projects a hologram of a brick wall covering up the hole so if the enemy figures out the hideaway, they won’t know the escape route. 

Anna called again, unfortunately and just about deluged us with information about the alien thingies. She says that Dimwit and Belly were taken for ADHD testing and it turned out negative since she says both she and Jesse aren’t ADHD which is a little weird. How is that related to the aliens? Apparently, Belly and Dimwit said their first word with Belly first. Belly said mwa mwa and Dimwit said Dwa Dwa, which sounds like they have speach defects. Do aliens get that? Maybe they have a cleft lip. Who on earth speaks with extra “Ws”?! Hmm? And she says she is trying out a less extreme form of “hot-housing”. You know, flashing cards with the perdoric table on them and all sorts of stupid things. 

I hope the mothership hurries up and rescues them already,

ELLA 

P.S. Just to make things clear, we were sent by Ocean Blue not the YTA