Deer stoodents of Ocean Blue,

The annool winnther boll is here! All stodents are to bee dressed in the moast fourmal and neet attyre. I weel bee there myself to ensure tat everryone everyone is popelly dressed. Aso Also, all members of the cleening club, I expact yoo guys to be abal too dres nicellee aftter the two yeers of dresing leesons I gave yoou.

The pricipal pricepal prinerpel expacts all stoodents stuudents studdents stodents too bee pressent in the schol hol by 6.32pm  shap shape shop sharp next frydae. The boll weel last four 5 and a haf owl until 12.02am where the clossing closet cosing clossing seramoney weel take place.

I anttisipaid tis boll.

Mr Postman

*tis ledder may containn soome simmerlerity too the letter last yeer. Tis is beecos I needded refferencce.

*sore about the cancallations.

*all immportten facts are in bold or itallics.

oceanblue is currently undergoing a very serious and confidential project. thus, all students are to be in their dorm before 8.00pm. when needing to leave the dorm in the morning, ensure that u are accompannied by prefects. no quidditch until security is restored. This is for the safety for all students and thus no complaints are allowed.

lessons still carry on as usual but there will be extra security. as for the students, please do your part and ensure that you are always in pairs or threes and that a prefect is in sight. in case you realise that someone is missing or something is amissed, please report to the nearest prefect or teacher IMMEDIATELY. any delays can result in casualties. lunch breaks are to be taken in your dorms and no one shall leave unless a teacher allows. in case there’s a need to go to the lavatory, pls make sure that you are accompanied by peers. this is not only to ensure your safety, but also wittness in case something happened.

this project is very confidential and thus we won’t be able to reveal more details. please exercise more caution.

 

PRINCIPAL MARIANNE

Writing this during Divination.

Professor Truffle gets on my nerves too much.

We were doing practical together and Ella dropped the tea cup thingie on the floor. It was partly my fault because I let Ruffles, my gerbil, loose and I reckon it bit ella. So to be nice, I decided to accompany her to detention. I am soooo nice.

Anyway, I got in the Quidditch trials. Training in the Qidditch team as a defender. Jesse is my senior and he is really good at it. Saved 150 shots out of 152.

Today’s timetable is not as busy as yesterday, so I would probably have a longer break.

Ted is on a special mission again so I probably won’t be seeing him for a while. Ella won’t tell me what it is about… some friend she is. Anyway, I reckon it is some trip to Utopia to find something.

My textbook is filled with notes but I understand nothing at all.

Don’t think I can pass divination.

Hmm… what should I eat for lunch? Mash potato? Pizzas? Tomato soup?

I better stop thinking about it, I reckon Professor Truffle have heard my stomach growl, that is why she is always looking in my direction.

Still a few more periods to lunch. Oh no…

 

 

Yawning away,

Pizza

Writing this in transfiguration class.

Never really took an interest in transfiguration, but it does help occasionally.

Anyway, I am suppose to be taking down notes, but I have already read them the night before, so now it’s time for me to slack.

Ms  Rachel is droning on and on and I can’t help it but to doze off. Got smacked on the head by the book. Ouch. Guess I better start writing to keep myself awake.

Anyway, it’s going to be practical next time round so I reckon it will not be that boring.

Went for levitation lesson just now. Easy peasy. Guess I was born with this talent.

Ella , ted and I are all in different classes. Ella took mythical creatures while ted took herbology. 

Looking forward to Quidditch trials later. Trying out for the defending post. Guess I would be able to meet ella and ted at the trials too.

*yawn* ms Rachel is still going on about the importance of using transfiguration for the right purpose. Got them all memorized last night.

Guess I better stop writing. Ms Rachel is suspecting me already. Bye.

Yours truly,

Pizza

omgomg! How long has this school been inactive?!?

anyway.

yes. we are having a huge break because of h2n2… some virus that is attacking the human kind and we as “special people” will get a break. why? ain’t sure too. we are virus-resistant. 100%. all covered. born this way and will stay this way.

so school just reopened…

like usual.

met up with ella and ted in the lab – they were bisecting a BUG – and then made our way to the hall where dreadful ms smiths made an awfully long speech.

then our posts came. Choco send a box cohoclates. typical. ella got a motorbike. well of course it didn’t came by the post… the postamn had some difficulty with it and left it 500 miles away. Great thing we learned apparition.

went for more apparition lessons.

here comes my fav! POTIONS AND HERBOLOGY. :))

oops, spilled ink on my script… GTG. will keep you updated soon. 🙂

WELCOME BACK OCEAN BLUE-ERS.

it was high time for me to take a huge break after all the activities all year round. I took a trip out of oceanblue, (without permission, of course, who does?), and did a documentry.

well, it is actually more of a personal interest rather than a chore. well, one thing  I am certain is that life up there is definitely a huge difference from ob. in a good and bad way.

anyway, i wont go into that.

as you see, i had been indulging myself into too much pizzas, so i decided thatr i had better start working out, although i never really get fat, due to the adventures i had with ted and ella.

now, since it’s MY break, i wont spend time writing…… off i go!

Pizza

Dear Diary,

We are back here in ocean blue only because Ella and I “persuaded” Chiplotas and Grogans to let us. We were thinking of dragging Pizza along but Chiplotas spotted the big sack wriggling at the last moment. And Pizza is so lanky she stuck out like a cat among mice.

We are back here and Ella is raving mad about some Elmo thingummy costume. I think Barney goes much better for me! I stole Dimwit’s Barney napkin and Belly’s Barney rubber squishie (or whatever you call the squishy toy).

I cut the barney off the napklin and made the rubber squishie into a special water gun thing that shoots tar and grime. 98.786734% effective for ambushes on unexpecting victims like…[Unmentioned for secretive purposes.]

Anna is a real pain. She has taken to trying to stuff my brain with French and English. She thinks I’m a robot. The French words I can actually remember:

l’enfant terrible: spoilt brat

Bete Noire: Black beast

Quel Dommage: What a pity (I think)

Mon Dieu: Goodbye (I think)

The even worse English:

Nugatory: pointless/trifling

quotidian: occuring everyday

quisquous: puzzling

virago: a fierce, bad-tempered woman

Anna also confiscated my laptop because she saw me downloading the newest : How to detonate 999 bombs in a year into my files.

I don’t really mind because she can’t work out how to crack the 19 security codes in front. And anyway, I plugged up my DS to the power outlet, plugged the little pieces of Ella’s MP3 player into it and taped the pieces to the wall, then I installed a radioactive bug-CCTV in Anna’s room. I took out my spare fuse from the duffel bag in my locker and the laptop thingy which allows you to use the mousepad. Then I plugged them all in. I needed a few lemon batteries [AAA, AA and A] to work the whole thing out and I dismantled Jesse’ Ipod because I will need some other fuse to cut the strong current flowing in from the power outlet. Then I use a carbon coated alloy of steel and silver with a plastic wrapper wire and connected it to the satellite on top of our dorm. Now, I have full, free access to Fishernet.

Fishernet is the underwater civilian’s internet. It works 78.64243% better than the internet and it has all the internet’s content too.

Technical moderation of devices is potentially harmful if not done carefully so I have used really elaborate details to plug up the masterpiece which has turned out to be fantastic-o.

Anna can’t access anything at all this time because it is retina-scanned and X/Y scanned. Heheheheheh… Dimwit and Belly told me this line: “Mwamwa and Dardy are the bwest in thwe whole werld! I yike them thwe mwost. Tweddy and Ella are weally silly.” I threw Dimwit into his cot and dumped Belly headfirst on the armchair.

Call me silly eh?

Ella and I had the bombing ritual of June’s locker. Then we scavenged and found 2 pages of her diary and here they are:

Day 1 at OB:

OB is complete rubbish. Not my standard at all. April got a triple A-star in her first lesson and I got a D. I mean, mum used to argue with the teachers over my marks and I usually got an A back in school on the so-much-cooler-earth up there.

It makes me so totally mad to see that May is getting A-stars for her Geography which she completely sucks at. Like I know, Beijing is the capital of Canada and she, the stupid brat says otherwise, in China.

Stupid sisters,

June, the fashionist.

Day 9 at OB:

Day 9 is no different and I just made 24 new enemies. The worst of them are Teddy and Ella Coral. The little idiots have always GOT to blow up my cabinet and they just won’t quit their #%*%$$^@ around and I think they should just shut their traps about me and my nice clothings.

Their older sister, Anna is no better. She’s just a pretty Barbie doll with the worst and most disgustingly crude dress sense ever. She’s so moronic! And my two stupid sisters are SUPER bimbotic. They won’t quit bothering me about homework. Who cares?

Stupid OB,

JUNE, the beauty

Bleurgh! June the beauty. We used napalm and methanol to blow up her room too. She was off at the ballroom for some fashion party. Seriously, you don’t want to be within 3 miles from 1L of napalm. It is HIGHLY explosive. It sent June’s Dora the Explorer bed rocketing at 546mph out of the eco-dome and into the sky above the sea.

Methanol can cause fatality. But, we mildened the whole effect with the “blotcher”, Gharinea. The thing mildens the whole methanol thing and causes dizziness instead so, MUHAHAHAHA to June.

You do know about coke right? Not coke as in coca cola, but cocaine. Cocaine comes from the coca tree-beware, not cocoa, that’s chocolate. Back to the topic. Anyway, cocaine is snorgged up the nose with a pipe and we found that in June’s room. She has little six gram packets which have been diluted with other substances to reduce the obvious proof that she is taking it. She uses borax, cannabis, ethanol, speed and even strawberry meth to disguise the whole thing, making it seem like a flu medecine.

Yeah, you must be wondering how I know all this. Truth is: I don’t know either. It comes naturally-maybe I was an ex-drug dude. So, I took the bug down from Anna’s room and placed it in June’s room. Proof shows that she also takes heroine with ferromed. The potassium chloride she keeps in her shoe box is in fact used to mask the taste of the drugs when she eats food.

I can’t wait to report to the principal, I’ve got proof with my stuff.

TEDDY

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dear Diary,

I managed to threaten… ahem… “persuade” Chiplotas and Grogans to authorise rotating shifts and right now I managed to bung my way back to Ocean Blue.

 

I’ve decided that being normal is the pits so I have decided to take Hazel’s advice and become… *big ominous music* ELMO… Of course, erratic Anna Banana keeps insisting that it ain’t elmo and its this silly name… something like emo? Who on earth would want to be called an EMO?!?!? Elmo sounds much more pleasing when you roll it round on your tongue. Anna said that “emos” wear black studded leather jackets with chains and that they live in black. I’m pretty sure elmos wear something to do with ELMO not some silly black leather jackets and chains with skulls. So, I decided to compromise and I came up with an awesome elmo outfit. A black leather jacket with a huge design of Sesame Street printed on the back and a chain with little elmos hanging on them.

 

Belly and Dimwit are so slow and stupid all they say all day is “MAMA!! DADA!! FAAAAAAAN!! ELLWA-WAND-TWEDDWE-ARWE-SWO-STWUPID-AWND-MWAMWA-IWS-THWE-BWEST!!!”. I’m pretty dang sure Anna taught them the last one. She’s working on this hot-housing thingamajig. It’s supposed to start from young but she somehow bunged Teddikins and me in it. Basically, no more playing and tons of studying. Right now she’s got me reciting French Verbs. I’ll give ya a peek:

 

1. Incredule (Incredulous)

2. Mer (Sea)

3. Vaste (Vast)

 

And so on and so forth… TALK about a bore… precious teddikins says I’m growing up but he can just go and sod off… Oops… maybe took too much of Anna’s estrogen pills…

 

That might explain something…

ELLA

Dear Diary,

It has been really long since I last made a post. I haven’t been on any mission yet, except being the mission’s controller for the nuclear power plant one. I am going to be posted over to this quaint little island where, supposedly, those Greasy oil plant people have set up a hideout.

A pilot will fly me there in a jet plane at approximately 0330 the day after tomorrow. Cody is coming! We will receive maps of the hideout and we need to infiltrate the building at 0545. Then we must get out by 0830, that is when the office people start coming in.

We need to deactivate as many oil stuff, those…those…those thingummies which produce the polluted oil and destroy then tamper with the wires in the main control panel-sabotage.

I think Russell and Janetta are mission’s controller this time. He and Janetta are going to be texting us about the main points of the mission. The mission was classified under low risk because no weapons are involved. Unfortunately, the risk has turned up one notch because we just realised that those oil people have AK-47s and 14-mm mini pistols.

Cody and I will be armed with static guns if necessary. Static guns are basically these small handhelds which have battery charges taped to the bullet hole. When you pull the trigger, a static jolt should project forward and zap the enemy. If you get a close-up, hold it to the person’s neck, it’ll act exactly like a taser that way.

Our pilot’s name is Harrin Jurgernfiels. He is Irish-German. He’s muscly and he was enrolled in OB at 9 years old. He has super strength and extreme navigation skills so they set him up for the job.

When I have the time this afternoon, maybe at 6 o’clock, I’ll visit Anna and Jesse. They have these newborn babies! So adorable!!! I’m thinking of getting them each a rubber chewer, those you cool in the fridge for the kiddo to chew on.

Cody is busy working on his Arithmancy. The new school term is really busy. Especially since I have triple Spanish every Tuesday, Wednesday and Saturday. And then I have double Algebra every Monday and Thursday and as if that’s not bad enough by itself, I am in higher-Algebra. Higher-Algebra is the hardest.

My job as “goalkeep” in Quidditch maintains. Without Jesse, Ella, Teddy and Hazel still train with me. It so happens Pizza has French remedial on that day so she can’t make it. Fortunately. It’s enough with Ella and Teddy blowing up the stock-room. With Pizza-forget it.

I hope this mission will really rock. I wish May were on it too. The last one she had was a tiny one to a lighthouse on the Scottish shores where she had to find out the location of a Grease relation, not much fun eh?

See ya!

April

 

 

 

 

 

Ok, I’m not going Dear Diary this, Dear Diary that, I’ll get straight to the point.

It is Jesse here after his long disappearence. I have got so much to say about Belle and Dimitri. I absolutely LOVE Belle’s cute little eyes and her nice Anna-hair. Dimitri is just as good, with the stick-up dark hair and the adorable-kid look.

ME: Anna! Get the bucket.

ANNA: OK, coming, I’ll just put Dimitri down first.

ME: Quick…*gulp*

ANNA: Here you go.

ME: *Bleurgh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!* Whew!

ANNA: *Pats my back and kisses me*

Oh, I just love Anna. I adore her. She is the best wife anyone can have. *Mwuah, mwuah! MMMMMMwuah!*

I feel like smashing my head against the wall. My head is throbbing and that doctor Terri Bel isn’t here!!!

Anyway, back to swooning over Belle and Dimitri. Belle has this pair of beautiful-cute sandals which have zebras on them. They are orange and really sweet. Dimitri is more boyish than Belle of course but Belle isn’t a softie but she is somewhat girly. Belle has a mind of her own.

Dimitri has this denim jacket I ordered over ‘Mbay’. It was only 13 pounds so I got it. Dimitri has really nice spiky hair and I love to pat it so much. Anna got him this handsome pair of cargo pants which fit him very well. (Don’t worry, Belle’s got a pair of pink camouflage shorts which make her look sporty.)

OH NO, I feel sick,

JESSE KOSRAVSKI

P.S. Ow, *Pukes all over the bedsheets.*